I was thinking...

Have you ever physically missed someone? I mean missed their physical being? How many times do you pay attention to the true feeling of hugging someone you love? I think most people take it for granted with a quick arms-entangled short embrace or just a one-armed obligatory hug. How does it make you feel to have their arms around wrapped around your body, your chests pressed together so that you can almost feel each other’s heart beating and to breathe in their scent as you put your head beside theirs? It’s the kind of embrace with someone you love that makes everything in the world just right for that few seconds. I miss someone like that a lot.

But that got me thinking about how I hug other people that I love like my mom and dad or my kids. I hug them, but most of the time, it’s mindless and I don’t really feel them. My mind is usually on to something else as we embrace. I’m setting a goal for myself to feel the physicality of and the emotion I have for each person I hug. It means so much to me to feel that with the person I miss. I know I take for granted that the rest of the loved ones in my life will always be here for me to hug. Not that I’m a huge spiritual person, but I think there is a positive flow of energy that comes from feeling each other and appreciating that they are in front of me, even just for a few seconds. Who can't use a little good ju-ju?

The Confidence Builds with the Miles

Eleven miles last Friday. The furthest distance I’ve run since February. It was agonizing to hear the alarm at 5 a.m., knowing I would have to get my muscles in gear in an hour. I have to get up at least an hour before I want to hit the road. It takes me awhile to organize my thoughts, eat something and make sure I have all the necessary items: watch, sweat hankie, the right socks, hat, sunglasses, Body Glide, allergy meds, and water bottles if I’m on a long run. If I’m not together, it seems to throw off my running groove. Maybe a little OCD. I get it honestly.

I ran with the GOTR group because I felt like I should make an effort to meet some of members of Team Tiara. As I was driving to the GOTR office, I was hoping I would be able to connect with someone who was interested in running my goal pace of 9:15-9:30. I tried not to think about how much it would suck if I had to run really or fast to have some sort of friendly conversation. I wasn't interested in a solo run. Luckily, I hooked up with Karen, a GOTR volunteer coach, who “said” she was a slow runner. It was a great run - I was even able to sprint the last 1/4 mile - and it was interesting to talk to a new person for an hour and thirty-seven minutes. I learned that Karen, like me, had only run one marathon before and she was thrilled with her accomplishment. She was glad to be able to do it for fun and didn’t seem to have the goal of being a “super runner”. I got her email address so that I could let her know our pace after I went home to calculate it. As it turned out, our relatively comfortable run resulted in an 8:48 pace instead of the 9:30 I was shooting for. She was in disbelief, said she had never run that pace and that it was a great confidence boost for her. I’m glad I was there to share it!

I gained a little more confidence myself, which is exactly what I need in my life right now…maybe if I put everything I’ve got into this training, I CAN run an 8:35 marathon pace for a 3:45 to qualify for Boston. Who knew I would feel great with "gas in the tank" as R.S. says, at the end of 11 miles? Great things are beginning to happen in my mind and on the road.

Hill Repeats...ugh!

6 x up a long steady hill with four minute (rest) jogs in between.

6 x my inner thighs are on fire = this sucks.
6 x my right quad is too tight = this sucks.
6 x I feel like I'm breathing through a cheese cloth = this sucks.
6 x I can't make my leg turn over any faster! = this sucks.
6 x I passed a squashed bug on the road = sucks for him.

Still, I managed to get a little faster with each trek up. The rewards of running hill repeats won't be immediately apparent, but increased speed and endurance are what I'm guaranteed eventually.

That + my determination to see this through with everything I've got = a feeling that does not suck as I cross the finish line under my goal time.

Words to live by...

This past week of training has been a little challenging. It’s only week three and the mileage hasn’t been difficult, but my allergies have been killing me! It’s hard to run when you can’t breathe. I’m also really concerned about my pace. The mapping site my running partners and I use most, www.mapmyrun.com and the pace calculator seem to be a little off. According to the site, I’m consistently running an 8:15-8:20 pace. That can’t be right, because my breathing would be much more labored in the distances I’m covering. I have to get this sorted out or I’ll have a big shock and disappointment on October 12^th.

Physically, my very minor plantar fasciitis and my knee pain, which I’m self-diagnosing as my medial collateral ligament (MCL) strain, aren’t debilitating yet. I know they’re both something I need to pay close attention to when I wake up in the morning and they both ache before I’ve even gotten out of the bed. My pain preventions steps:

§ I got shiny new shoes for my birthday (thanks JC!)-Asics Gel Nimbus 9.

§ I’m trying to ice my knee 1-2 times a day.

§ I take NSAIDs to keep the inflammation at bay.

§ I’m working on further strengthening of my quads with 45˚ light leg extensions.

§ I’m trying not to wear flip flops every day.

I’m know I need to be smarter with my body in training for this marathon because I’ve experienced the pain that comes from abuse and ignoring the warning signs and it ain’t pretty.

Emotionally, I’ve had a much better week. Last week, I was an emotional basket case. Everything that is going on in my life (or isn’t) hit me like a ton of bricks. I think I’m going to chalk it up to hormones, because I was so out of control inside. Very unlike me. Thank God for my ability and love of running. Sometimes I think it’s the only thing that keeps me moving forward. The opportunity to put everything behind me and concentrate on my foot falls, breathing and enjoyment of being outdoors is incomparable. As Dr. George Sheehan says, “Running becomes and addiction that has positive rather than negative effects.” Amen, brother.

Being alone with music while I’m tackling the hills and covering the distance has a significant impact on me too. For some reason, I’m addicted to lyrics and try to use them to fit my mood at that moment. Two lines from Edie Brickell (did you know she’s married to Paul Simon?) were worth noting this week:

“…don't look back, look up and then look around”

“I know that when I get back on my feet I will walk away from misery.” Or , more appropriately for me, run.

This week’s words to live by.

Chicago 2008...here I come!

Did you ever do something that had you smacking your forehead and wondering what the hell you were getting yourself into? That’s me. Two weeks into training for my second marathon in 4 years. 2008 Chicago, here I come…again. The pain from the 2004 Chicago marathon wasn’t tattooed into my brain deeply enough, I guess. I’ve decided to do it again because of peer pressure and my sometimes annoying, genetic gift of fierce competitiveness. Mostly I’m terrified of the inevitable pain I’m going to endure. I’m definitely not a Kenyan and my body was not built for this, even though I’m an athletic chic. But there are a few things that keep me putting one foot in front of the other.

One, I fell in love with Chicago the one and only time I was there. Any excuse to go back is excuse enough for me. Train 18 weeks and be guaranteed that with every step, my knees are going to feel like someone is beating me right across the joint with an iron pipe for the entire 4 hours. Sign me up. Chicago’s a fantastic city and I can't wait to soak it all up again. I’ll do anything to get back.

Two, I'm looking forward to spending countless hours during the next 16 weeks planning, talking and running with my girlfriends. I look forward to those long run days when the miles seem to fly by as we vent our frustrations of the week, talk about our future dreams and laugh about the ridiculousness of our family responsibilities. It's much cheaper than paying a therapist. Unless we all need knee and hip replacements before retirement age.

Three, I missed the after party on the Navy Pier in 2004 because, well, I literally couldn’t put one foot in front of the other from the extreme post-race knee pain. That bummed me out. This year, I’ll be there even if my pals have to help me shuffle over there.

But most importantly, I’m looking forward to the marathon because I’m thrilled to raise money for Girls on the Run as I step closer to my goal of 26.2. More on this groundbreaking program in future posts…

So, here’s my blog. My journey to Chicago in 2008 and a few more details about why my running matters to me and where I hope running shoes will take me. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. Maybe someone who needs inspiration will find my words and will see from my experiences that we only have to look inside ourselves to find what it takes to be the best we can be. And you’ll also see that my journey is definitely an ongoing process. Two steps forward and one step back…